Historical March 1991 article. Dates, prices, services and contacts describe the source period; current availability has not been established.
With this edition, the Times welcomes a new columnist, Ms. Know It All. Ms. Know It All prefers to remain anonymous, so we can only reveal that she is a long-time resident of Skinker DeBaliviere. Watch for more clues in future editions.
Welcome to my advice column. I’m not a doctor, I’m not a psychologist, I don’t give helpful hints, I don’t have any experience giving advice, in fact. I’m not even very nice. But, I’m all you’ve got.
If you have a problem and you need some advice, send me a letter, and I’ll try to answer it.
If you have a cute, heartwarming story that you’d like to pass on to our readers, save it.
Dear Ms. Know It All, I’m 13 and the other night me and my friend Buffy went to the movies and we saw a bunch of other kids from school and we were all going to the same movie and so Stephani said “Hey, you guys, do you like want to all like sit together?” and everybody thought that would be really fun so went to the box-office and bought our tickets and they were $5.50! Well I just want to know, if I’m only 13, why do I have to pay for an adult ticket when I can’t even see an R rated movie? Tiffany
Dear Tiffany, Get cable. You can see all the R rated movies you want, not to mention Gilligan reruns 5 times a day.
Dear Ms. Know It All, I’d like to ask you a question that has been troubling me for years, and I hope you have the answer. Does anybody really know where Montana is? Curious
Dear Curious, No.
Dear Ms. Know It All, My wife and I just moved into the neighborhood, and we would like to meet people in the neighborhood.
We love to bar-b-que. and we have a pool, so we’re planning to have lots of pool parties this summer.
The Skinker-DeBaliviere neighborhood seems like the perfect neighborhood for people like us, but we’re not sure how to get to know our neighbors. Any ideas? New Neighbor
Dear New Neighbor, Welcome to the neighborhood.
The best place to meet new people is the St. Roch progressive dinner. You just missed it. You also just missed the Times fundraiser and hors d’oeuvre contest and St. Roch’s 50’s Dance, the two social events of the season.
I guess it’s going to be a long, lonely summer.
Dear Ms. Know It All, Why are stupid people allowed to drive? Signed, BDW
Dear BDW, It doesn’t seem fair, does it? But, sad as it may seem, it is within their right, as long as they can pass that oh so simple written test, and then drive around the block with a comatose driving instructor. Keep in mind though, as much as it is within their right to drive, you have a constitutional right to bear arms.
Dear Ms. Know It All, I’m 14 and dating a guy who is 24. No one likes him but me, but I don’t care.
I really think he’s the greatest.
Now he wants me to go all the way, what should I do? Unsure in St. Louis
Dear Unsure, Go to your room and don’t come out until you’re 21!
If you have any questions for Ms. Know It All, please send them to: Ms. Know It All c/o The Times 6010 Kingsbury St. Louis, MO 63112
Originally published in The Times of Skinker-DeBaliviere, March 1991.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Original source: SD_Times1991_03.pdf, printed page(s) 5; PDF page(s) 5.
