Original printed byline: Hawkeye Z. Hoerr
Historical November–December 2013 article. Dates, prices, services and contacts describe the source period; current availability has not been established.
WOOSH! That noise is the sound of change happening all around you. WOOSH!
There it is again! Yep, things are changing that fast. Oddly, though, because change is such a constant, you may not notice it. It’s hard to pick up a tablet or e-book and not read how technology is changing not only what we do but how we do it (and maybe where we do it). Chances are, that I’d read that too if I picked up a regular book, one with those things called pages.
I used to read those while listened to music on my 8-track player.
I sure miss hearing the Kingston Trio. At both big and little levels, we sense remarkable changes rippling through our society. Just recently, I read about docs performing surgery – cutting and sewing people and all that stuff – while being hundreds or thousands of miles from their patients.
They use a remote camera and a robot, and control his/her/its arms electronically. Wow. (So much for the importance of “bedside manner,” eh?) Google glasses are coming down the pipe, so it won’t be long until all the world’s knowledge is in the corner of your cornea. You’ll be able to see and know everything just by glancing aside into your glasses.
An eye-roll will show you recorded history from Aardvarks to Zorro. WOOSH! (Hey, maybe these glasses can even help me remember people’s names?) And coming soon, we will have watches that do the things that phones do.
It gets a bit confusing: phones which tell time and watches which are phones. What’s next – radios that talk? (Oh yeah, that’s television.) I decided to ask some friends what they view as the biggest change in the past couple of hundred years. Carla, ever the pragmatist, noted that a couple of hundred years ago she wasn’t here, so she’d be most surprised to find out that she was alive. You know, I’m not sure that I understood her, but maybe it was because I was preoccupied in trying to determine whether a tree falling makes noise if no one hears it. Bill said, “Simple. It’s air travel.” He wisely pointed out that for thousands of years we traveled by feets – ours or that of fourlegged animals.
Now the coach in which we sit hurls us across the sky at hundreds of miles per hour.
The speed is breath-taking, and hopefully it makes up for de-shoeing in the security line, sitting at the gate, and waiting on the tarmac (not to mention stale peanuts). Do you think people living in the Renaissance had a Frequent Horse card? WOOSH! Did you hear it this time? Lucy talked about longevity.
She pointed out that in Biblical times, 32 was the life expectancy, whereas today the Social Security Administration predicts that if you’re 33, you’ll likely live to be 76, that you’ll live to be 94 if you’re 54 now, and make it to 85 if you’re currently 67. That’s a lot more days and almost as many nights. You know, if you consider all of the people in the world times all of the days everyone has lived, it sorta makes you wonder why we haven’t gotten more accomplished. By now, wouldn’t you think that we’d have cured cancer, solved world hunger, and the Cubs would have won a World Series? Hanson, a computer geek, proclaimed computers as the achievement of mankind.
He did this by email, of course.
He talked about how computers are automating so much of our lives, that it won’t be long until they perform virtually every task imaginable. Computers will drive cars, perform surgery, teach classes, walk dogs, offer counseling, be embedded in our clothing to keep us warm or cool, water lawns, and cook breakfast. Death will simply be re-booting! (Here’s a scary thought: When you couple computers doing just about everything while our life span increases, what will happen to us? What are we going to do with ourselves??? You won’t need to go to school because learning will be injected in your arm each year. You won’t have any work to do; it will all be automated.
But then what???
I mean, you can only watch Gilligan’s Island for, what, three or four hours a day until it becomes boring. Chances are your computer will be programmed to do your hobby too! You can watch it knit, play Scrabble, cook, do woodworking, or work out. (I see a future column here…) WOOSH! Ed is an out-of-thebox thinker, so I was eager to hear his thoughts about change, and he didn’t disappoint. “The designated hitter is the single biggest change,” he said while wearing his Cardinals shirt, “end of story.” I’ve always admired Ed’s balanced approach to life. Perhaps similarly insightfully, Renee talked about the invention of fast food. “Think of the millions of people who have easy and cheap access to food, virtually 24-7,” she said, “we no longer have to trap or kill our prey to get a McNugget.” Maurice, a demographer, took the long view. “It’s pretty amazing that we haven’t exterminated one another by now,” he said. “With all the nuclear weapons floating around, I’d have thought we’d be dust by now.” Can you guess that Maurice isn’t the optimistic sort?
I wonder if he eats McNuggets. Reflecting on their responses, it’s pretty clear that we are all biased.
We are struck by the technology that has a significant impact upon us, personally. For example, I am most amazed by microwave ovens. That’s because a microwave oven defrosts my frozen Hostess Twinkies in just 20 seconds. That’s fast – I never have time to linger at breakfast — and tasty! (I froze seven cases of Twinkies when they were going out of business.) But, surprisingly enough, not everybody likes Twinkies, so the invention of the microwave might not appear as significant to others. (I know, dear reader, it’s hard to contemplate that some people don’t like Hostess Twinkies. Truth is there’s no accounting for some people’s taste or wisdom.
After all, some people vote for Republicans.) What about change in the past?
If Washington, Franklin, and Jefferson returned to life today, what would surprise them the most? Odd as you might find this question, it’s one that I ponder quite a bit. You see, I am constantly ruminating on what’s been the biggest change in our country over the past 200+ years.
I wondered how George Washington, Tommy Jefferson, and Benny Franklin would respond to this question. Since my Ouija board couldn’t conjure them and since my time capsule can’t get me back before 1968, I decided to ask around and elicit how others think they might respond. That will be the topic of my next column.
In the meantime, enjoy that added life expectancy and let me know if you’d like a dethawedTwinkie.
Originally published in The Times of Skinker-DeBaliviere, November–December 2013.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Original source: SD_Times2013_11.pdf, printed page(s) 8; PDF page(s) 8.
