此内容暂无简体中文译文，以下为英文原文。
Historical September–October 2021 article. Dates, prices, services and contacts describe the source period; current availability has not been established.
Covid was still raging when my daughter Eve and I showed up in Brussels on April 5.
The cafes were closed.
The archives and libraries where I planned to research had limited places.
My host professor welcomed me by taking me into the university courtyard and making espresso on a camping stove, as we sat on a rickety picnic bench, next to a broken soccer goalpost. Eve’s Belgian school was still mostly online, which made the whole idea of a “real Europeaen experience” for her seem slightly absurd. Still, somehow, it’s been a great trip. Eventually Brussels opened up.
The archives not only let me in, but gave me unusual freedom to explore old patient case files and reports from the history of developmental disability. Eve’s school transitioned back to the classroom, and her fellow students seem to dote on her like some exotic puppy.
The long isolation gave me lots of time to watch and listen. St. Augustine wrote somewhere that, “the world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page.” In that spirit, I’ve got pages and pages to absorb.
Here are four lessons from our time in Brussels so far. 1. Slow Down!
I should have learned this lesson long ago.
My wife Nicole and I lived in Berlin in the mid-2000’s.
We were perplexed the first time German friends came over for Sunday brunch and then stayed…. and stayed. First it was just a really long coffee after a pleasant meal.
Then we went for a stroll in the park (I think we figured we’d say goodbye there).
But our friends remained with us, walking and talking, until we stopped for more coffee and some cake. Eventually they invited us for dinner. “Tonight?” we thought. “Really?!” But then: Ok, why not? At first our day felt like a reenactment of the SNL skit about “the guests who wouldn’t leave.” In the end, it was a pleasure to say goodbye to our crazy American work ethic and enjoy a real day of rest. Belgians linger over every coffee.
They take their time at lunch. Dinner goes on forever. Waiters never pressure you to leave (don’t ask me how restaurants makes money). Sometimes it seems like you have to beg them to let you pay. Does anyone here get any work done? Apparently, yes! Productivity per worker here is only slightly less than in the United States (which, btw, is behind Germany). I’d happily trade a dollar in national productivity if every American could spend an extra half-hour strolling with friends or peoplewatching on their favorite street. Maybe this is why Europeans live longer? 2. Put away your phone Eve took me out for a birthday dinner, and I did the redblooded American thing of a) photographing the restaurant, b) photographing the food, and c) sending the photos to wife and siblings in the USA, hoping it would stoke their envy.
It was Eve who told me to put my darn phone away, pointing out that no other diners had their phones on the table, let alone in their hands.
I looked around and was shocked to realize she was right.
It turns out that people here actually put their phones away when socializing.
I was even more shocked to find out that Eve’s friends at school don’t pull out their phones when hanging out in the park. Teenagers! How is this possible? Aren’t their brains hardwired for phone use? Evidently not. Lesson learned. 3. Don’t let the weather hold you down It amazes me how St. Louis comes alive when the weather is perfect: suddenly everyone is walking around the neighborhood; the Loop is packed; and Forest Park is like a scene from a French impressionist painting.
A harsh breeze or, god forbid, a threat of rain, however, and this lively atmosphere disappears.
In fact, Nicole and I were able to get Eve vaccinated before we left St. Louis because it was pouring one day in March, and we thought, “there must be tons of cancelled appointments at CVS.” Sure enough, CVS, like the rest of the Loop, was empty, and the pharmacist was thrilled to see us.
In Belgium, the weather sucks but no one seems to care.
As I write, it’s June 1, and I just saw a woman in her winter coat with a giant wool scarf around her neck. Not unusual. And yet: people are sitting at sidewalk cafes, strolling, waiting for the bus.
This evening there will be people in the park across from my apartment, because there are always people in the park after work. Nothing seems to hold them back. 4. Drive as if your Grama lived here.
The driving culture here is the most amazing thing. Car ownership levels are high by European standards, but people still walk and ride their bikes to get around.
There are remarkably few stoplights in Brussels and almost no stop signs. Instead, there are big white lines at every corner where cars are expected to stop when pedestrians are present. And they do.
The hardest adjustment in fact has been getting used to the idea that cars will really watch for me when I’m on foot, and they really will stop. Biking too is a pleasure, though there are almost no bike paths. Instead, cars simply defer to bikes. Incredibly, drivers rarely get impatient, even when bikers block the driving lane along narrow stretches of road. Bikers are better behaved too, but there’s none of the nonsense that bikes must follow the same rules as cars. (Why should they? They’re bikes!) The atmosphere is one of mutual respect and toleration, which of course makes driving very different than in the US. You can’t be on your phone or fixing your appearance in the rearview mirror. You can’t zone out. And, really, you can’t be in too much of a hurry. Writing this, I’m struck by how all of these “lessons” fit together. Slowing down, ignoring your phone, going out in bad weather, and driving cautiously are all part of living in the moment and living for the moment.
I miss St. Louis and can’t wait to walk around the neighborhood and greet old friends, but it would be nice to take something of this culture back home with me.
Originally published in The Times of Skinker-DeBaliviere, September–October 2021.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Archival transcription note: Headline promises five lessons but source says four and numbers only four. No missing fifth lesson invented. No byline printed; family names do not justify guessing author.
Original source: SD_Times2021_09.pdf, printed page(s) 5; PDF page(s) 3.
