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Historical April–May 2018 article. Dates, prices, services and contacts describe the source period; current availability has not been established.
The family trip to Los Angeles started to go south in lot D of long term parking at Lambert Field.
We were taking the red eye out to see our daughter for the first time since she moved to LA.
I circled the lot, transfixed into vacation mode, and missed the shuttle to the airport.
We made the plane, but the tone was set.
When we arrived I relinquished the driving to my wife in an effort to settle the mood.
But my navigation skills lead us to the wrong address of our Airbnb.
It seemed that, along with my family, Google Maps had stopped speaking to me. Its 3:00 a.m. on the dark streets of Hollywood, before dreams are awake, and I’m confronted with a stark reality; I can’t text with my thumbs. Whoever said it’s a man’s world was probably a man. I’ve lived with women for awhile, and I bet he was bluffing. At home, I’m a tiny nation unto myself, with the second largest economy in the household.
I abdicated the throne to the King of the Castle, for the largely ceremonial title, the Duke of Kingsbury.
My wife asked the girls to give a trait of theirs from each parent. For Molly, they said beauty, kindness and hard work. “What about Dad?” she asked. “Funny?” they wondered. Touring around Los Angeles in the hands of my confident, charming daughter, I accepted my role as Family Court Jester. Sometimes our children startle us.
If my legacy is to be three beautiful, kind and caring human beings, then the last laugh is on me.
She took us to the J. Paul Getty Museum on a hill top in LA.
I had heard that it never rained in Southern California, but I must have packed some St. Louis weather, because it was pouring.
I love a museum, but they make me tired. Looking at all the old paintings and statues on a dreary day, I just wanted to stretch out on Louis XIV’s day bed.
When we were leaving I asked Molly how she liked it.
She said, “It was nice, but I have to say, I’ve seen enough penises to last a lifetime.” It’s a wakeup call when you’re doused with the cold truth. It’s a new day and the old ideas belong in the museum. Let’s put on a fig leaf and show some respect. I’m living in a woman’s world and it’s pretty nice in here.
The taxes are paid and the trains run on time, as long as I’m not driving.
Originally published in The Times of Skinker-DeBaliviere, April–May 2018.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Original source: SD_Times2018_04.pdf, printed page(s) 4; PDF page(s) 4.
