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Historical November–December 2017 article. Dates, prices, services and contacts describe the source period; current availability has not been established.
Fake news. Yep, it’s the term of the day.
But don’t be misled! Despite its seeming simplicity, the definition is actually quite arcane: fake news is news that is fake, intentionally spread by the villains in the media. See, it’s not nearly as simply as it seems.
The complexity is because what’s fake – the degree of fakiness – is in the eye of the beholder. Your fake news is my truth and vice-versa.
If there’s any doubt of this, try listening to Rush Limbaugh’s radio show.
But we must rise above fake news. Or at least get around it.
We cannot let ourselves be led astray or duped by the evil media. Thus, in the interests of educating the citizenry and of raising our fake news detector, Hawkeye offers a fake news primer. Take this test, ponder, learn, re-ponder, and you’ll be a savvy news consumer. No more fake news for you! Directions: Five neighborhood scenarios follow, and your task is to identify which ones are fake news. Bear in mind that Hawkeye has sources deep within City Hall and is always ahead of the curve. Answers are at the end. (I was tempted to put the answers at the beginning but how much fun would that be?) Scenario #1: A group of west county businessmen decide to build a 120-foot Ferris Wheel on the vacant lot at the SE corner Skinker and Delmar Avenues. Calling it a family attraction, the developers state that the Ferris wheel will not cause parking problems, lead to voyeurism, generate loud noises or unwanted light, or attract rowdy youth. Fake news or not? ☐ Yes ☐ No Scenario #2: The phase one expansion of the Loop Trolley in 2022 will tie it to the Delmar Metro stop and enable transfers to Metro Link.
All Metro drivers will wear uniforms from the 1920 era when trolleys were first used.
The phase two trolley expansion will connect it to the Gateway Arch. Fake news or not? ☐ Yes ☐ No Scenario #3: A successful fund-raising campaign enables Washington University to buy the Parkview neighborhood. University spokesperson Sarah Glib expressed appreciation to University City and St. Louis for passing the imminent domain legislation that allowed acquisition of 255 homes for much-needed faculty housing. “We promise to maintain the architectural heritage,” she said. Fake news or not? ☐ Yes ☐ No Scenario #4: The old Dobbs Tire space on Delmar, just west of Des Peres, becomes a St. Louis University satellite center. No longer willing to let WU be the only walk-to university for 63112 and 63130, SLU builds a nine-story structure, including a gym, spa, and rooftop trampoline.
The bottom three floor are designed for classrooms, and the remaining spaces are rental units. Fake news or not? ☐ Yes ☐ No Scenario #5: In an effort to eliminate non-residents from parking in the neighborhood and to reduce crime and traffic, all Skinker exits will be permanently closed on June 30.
The giant concrete planters that will be placed in the middle of the streets will allow pedestrian and bike access to Skinker, however.
As of July 1, all vehicles will enter east/west streets from De Peres (which will be opened at Delmar). Fake news or not? ☐ Yes ☐ No OK, dear reader, what do you think? Could you detect the Fake News?
The reality is that scenario #1 is true and the rest are fake news. Unless it’s the other way around.
Originally published in The Times of Skinker-DeBaliviere, November–December 2017.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Original source: SD_Times2017_11.pdf, printed page(s) 8; PDF page(s) 8.
