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Historical report by Ken Kress, May 1981. Describes the youth home’s staff, residents and practices at that time; period wording is preserved.
On Wednesday, March 25, the Building Commissioner of the City of St. Louis held a hearing.
At issue was the licensing of a home for teenagers operating in the 6100 block of Kingsbury.
A few days before the hearing, notices were placed on two trees directly in front of the house.
One neighborhood resident, Mr. Cunningham, came. Mr. Cunningham testified that the teenagers were no trouble at all.
The upshot of the hearing was that the house underwent several inspections and is being issued all the special permits it needs.
What surprised many people about the hearing is that the house has been in operation eleven years. Back in the late 60s W. Alfred Hayes donated the house on Kingsbury to the Children’s Home of the United Methodist Church.
The home, named after Hayes, opened on January 10, 1970.
It continues to be operated by the United Methodist Church and now provides a home for hapless teenagers.
Marie Stark, Director of Hayes House and Assistant Director of the Church’s Children and Family Services, explained that the teens living on Kingsbury are usually graduates of the Church’s Webster Groves program. “When they come here, they are well on their way to recovery, but they are still young.
We try to offer them a family atmosphere, to bridge the gap between living in an institution and living on their own.” Presently three girls and two boys live in Hayes House.
A family is more than a collection of people, and Hayes House is more than a house.
The staff at Hayes House try to be parents and mentors to the teens.
Mary Emery, one of the child care workers, explained, “We do alot of training.
We teach them to use the bus system, how to use the People’s Clinic.
Many of these kids won’t have a lot of money so they have to know the resources of the community.” Staff help the teens find jobs, fill in applications, do taxes … anything they need help with.
The staff also tries to help the teens with less mundane matters. Said Director Stark, “In our weekly sessions we try to teach them to speak up for themselves, to teach them independence.” And, Stark made clear, the staff also give advice when appropriate. “If a girl is dating a really weird character, we let her know we don’t approve.” Once a week the teens and the staff get together and talk. Conversations range over the topics most interesting–and most troublesome–dating, sex, drugs, etc. Said Emery, “We probably do a better job than most families in talking.” She explained that it is easier for them to talk with the teens than it is for most parents to talk with their own children.
The staff members don’t fall apart when a teen talks about having sex or smoking a joint. “We encourage them to talk to us freely, then we just deal with it without getting too out of control.” Living at the House has its duties and obligations, too.
The teens have to study in some educational program–regular school, alternative school, or a GED program.
They must also have part-time jobs and must work during the summer. Around the House they have chores: they take turns in the kitchen, do yard work, clean up the house; in short, they do all the things kids in a family have to do.
In this way the House becomes a home and the teens learn the skills essential to living on their own. And that is the goal of the House, to prepare them for an independent life. “As soon as they arrive,” said Stark, “we start saying, ‘What will you do next year?’ We ask: ‘What are your goals? Where will you live?” They are continually reminded that they can stay in the House only 18 months and so must plan for their future.
When they do leave, the staff continue to act as parents. (They even think like parents.) Said Emery, a child care worker, “Our kids don’t appreciate us until they leave.” She continued, “We feel really good about our kids, real committed to them.
We keep up with just about all the kids.” They may move on to their own apartments, get married, go to college, but usually they stay in touch.
Those in college come back during vacations; others return for advice or the benefit of an understanding ear.
The final test of the House and all that’s been done for the teens is how happy they are. Said Stark, -We tell the kids, ‘Whatever you do, be happy at it.’ Our success story might be a kid who turns out to be a waitress; she’s making money, dating someone nice. That is success to us.”
Originally published in The Paper, May 1981.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Original source: SD_Times1981_05.pdf, printed page(s) 4; PDF page(s) 4.
