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Historical humor by Arlene Sandler. The deliberately extravagant library rules are tall tales, not actual library policy.
Some changes for the new year . . . Eating; once forbidden is now required. Everyone entering the library must be accompanied by a sandwich.
The limit on books checked out to an individual borrower has been raised to thirty to give us a chance to dust the shelves.
A book report must now be turned in along with each of your books.
As of Jan. 1, 1981, a small, vicious dog will sit inside the book drop box waiting to bite the hand of anyone depositing mail or record albums. Sorry, I was leafing through Botkin’s Treasury of American Folklore and was momentarily overcome by some powerful tall tales.
By the way, this is a truly fascinating book. Read about how Davy Crockett grinned the bark off a tree or how to make rattlesnake soup.
During the coming year, I resolve not to tell any more lies if you’ll all resolve to use your branch library more than you have this year.
The entire staff wishes you a fine holiday season and a happy, book-filled New Year.
Originally published in The Paper, December 1980.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Original source: SD_Times1980_12.pdf, printed page(s) 4; PDF page(s) 4.
