Late afternoon or early evening. The procession of children begins. Burdened with sacks of trash and garbage, they move with the solemnity of pagan priests, offering with childish abandon the household refuse to the alley gods. Late that night the holy animals come and feed from the uncovered cans and plastic bags, strewing the offering about as a sign of its sufficiency. The ceremony is repeated three hundred and sixtyfive days a year celebrating both the joy of urban life and parental relief over having off-spring to carry out the daily sacrifice.
But think not that adults do not concern themselves with the condition of their alley altars. They gather at various times each year to complain about the unsanitary environment of the alleys; about the great quantity of sacred cats, dogs, and rats; and about the official crew which is paid to collect what the animals cannot or will not eat. They return home satisfied they have expressed proper parental concern and to verify that their children have taken out the garbage.
MORAL: If you want your kids to feed the animals, take them to the zoo, but take the garbage out yourself.
Originally published in The Paper, Summer 1973.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Original source: SD_Times1973_06.pdf, printed page(s) 2.
