Historical February 1998 article. Dates, prices, services and contacts describe the source period; current availability has not been established.
If anyone made a New Year’s Resolution to be “kinder and gentler,” this story could serve as a model for you.
It is a report on busy Joe and Nancy Gruneisen, holders of the west side of that unique initiative of yard sharing with Flossie and Frank Driscole in the 6100 block of Washington.
A visit to the Gruneisens is a great contrast to the Driscoles, at least on the surface. At the Gruneisens, children are everywhere, the dining room doubles as the playroom (adults’ antiques and works of art intermingle sans destruction with toys galore), while a table is set formally for dinner, although most present are under five.
While we talked,’Nancy.rocked pregnantly in her chair, and Joe was draped with his girls.
When Nancy excused herself for a moment and her little boy cried, Joe said gently, “She’s making dinner, Boo. Be happy about that. It’s a good thing.” Crying stopped. Eventually I was given a free demonstration of what they call the “ta das”: Each child stands rigidly on the palm of Joe’s hands and gets lifted to the ceiling, something they say they have been practicing since each was born. It’s breath-defying, but they are all casual about it. Regarding the strength it must take to lift them, Joe chuckles almost to himself, “They’re not that heavy,” an attitude that epitomizes the Gruneisen approach to parenting and other important relationships.
The two families actually have a great deal in common. Like “F”and “F”, Joe and Nancy are St. Louis imports from another southern state, Kentucky, who moved to St. Louis for Joe’s work as an electrical engineer at Boeing—then McDonnell. Douglas. Whereas Flossie and Frank made a conscious decision to help hold the line on the 6100 block of Washington Avenue during troubled times, Nancy and Joe could capitalize on the the progress made and make an easier decision to buy the rehabbed house they liked that they could afford.
As young marrieds, they rented in University City, grew to love “the Loop” and wanted to stay conveniently located. Nancy admits most of their “native St. Louisan friends thought we were nuts,” and during a couple of times, they thought they might be, but Flossie told them to perservere, things would get better, and they did.
The Gruniesens are also Presbyterians. Joe is an elder at Central Presbyterian Church and on the school board of daughter Leah’s school.
They live a deep and abiding faith. Joe is presently working on his third masters degree, this one in theology. “We are over-educated,” laughs Joe. Nancy has a masters degree in home economics and will “cook for money,” although for now she is basically full-time mother.
In the recent past, she had a catering business.
She specializes in incredible small dinners, incredible cheesecakes and other desserts.
To be Nancy’s neighbor is to be a recipient of gifts of the baking project du joir. (I did not leave our interview empty-handed.) Like the Driscoles, the Gruneisens are especially pleased with the diversity of Rosedale.
It is very important for their children, they say. Theirs is a rainbow family obvious. Nancy has jet black hair while Joe is fair.
They adopted Leah, a child of white blonde curls and bluest eyes. Very quickly thereafter, they adopted Ramya Jane from Madras, India, who calls herself “chocolate” and the rest of the family “vanilla” and has a few questions about all of that. Of course, with two babies in tow, Nancy became pregnant with Jesse, a cute amalgam of his parents. Nancy says they want to live in an area with “the mix and no hassles” so their children easily see “that God created other colors, shapes and sizes.” As to the sharing of the yards, Nancy says she was actually kidding when she said something to Frank about taking down the fence.
She is “over-whelmed by their generosity.
The arrangement is that the fence can be put back for any reason.
We drew up no legal papers.” Joe and Nancy say the impact on the relationship has been “neat.” “It was a trust issue for them to do it and an opportunity for us to show trustworthiness.
The children respect the yard they get to use.
There are many benefits of the sharing.
When we want to talk, we don’t walk to the fence.
We walk to the steps,” says Joe.
The depth of caring the Gruneisens feel for the Driscoles is palpable and obviously growing as the cooperative continues. Nancy speaks of a time when Flossie and Frank were considering leaving the neighborhood. “1 almost cried,” said Nancy.
She laughs about having caught a would-be thief recently and says she’s trying out for a role as “Flossie Driscole, Crime Buster.” “We want them here,” says Joe. “It’s a selfish thing.” Joe throws the morning paper to the doorstep “so Frank won’t have to go get it in his socks,” salts the steps when the decks freeze and handles snow and grass removal in the rear. Unlike Frank, Joe is a gardener par excellence.
When the fence came down, the garden was suddenly in the middle of an expanse of green. “They said move it.” That really impressed Joe.
While he plans to expand it, “my challenge is to grow grass in Frank’s yard. He’s tried squirting things, but it’s a year long process.” Nancy, who has four green thumbs, plans to landscape with cuttings she gleans here and there, although she will be wrangling a newborn come planting time.
For now, until the cold outside retreats, we on Washington are warmed inside by the new community growing year round next door.
Original photograph caption
The Gruneisen Family. Photographer not credited.
Originally published in The Times of Skinker-DeBaliviere, February 1998.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Original source: SD_Times1998_02.pdf, printed page(s) 5; PDF page(s) 5.
