Historical May 1989 satirical letter responding to the April Fool’s Operation Cleanstreet story. Its automobile-tax proposals are a joke, not enacted policy.
To the Editor: Thank you for your exclusive report about Operation Cleanstreet, which led off your April issue.
This is just the most recent example of how committed the City is to solving the fundamental problems facing our community. Still, I am worried that the incentives offered to make the program work are inadequate. Interest free loans for new asphalt driveways are simply not enough. Clearly, the only guarantee of success is the offer of personal property tax abatements!
All we need do is apply the tax abatement formula found to work so well right here in Skinker-DeBaliviere. Residents with new cars or with older cars with professionally-installed new engines would be entitled to an 80% abatement.
The abatement would last for ten years or 100,000 miles, whichever comes first. Residents with high-mileage cars, who do their own repairs, would be ineligible for an abatement.
However, they could apply for a lube job on a 50/50 cost share basis with the City. Of course, this would be contingent on the City striking oil in Forest Park. Something for everyone, and no more cars. Let’s get our kids out on the streets where they belong! R. Don Gnillo Stickball Society of Mound City
Originally published in The Times of Skinker-DeBaliviere, May 1989.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Original source: SD_Times1989_05.pdf, printed page(s) 2; PDF page(s) 2.
