Historical April Fool satire from April 1986. The source explicitly states there really are no plans to close Skinker; this is not a road-closure announcement.
April 1, 1986 — Special to the “Times of Skinker DeBaliviere” Plans were discovered today by this reporter for the eventual closing of Skinker Boulevard.
According to documents in the Street Department, tentative plans call for the barricading of Skinker -at Delmar during the summer of 1988.
The document stated that traffic congestion along Skinker has become “unbearable,” and that closing the street will naturally stop the congestion.
At the same time, documents indicate that Rosedale Avenue, one block east of Skinker, will be opened to be the area’s northsouth thoroughfare. • In an off-the-record interview, Commissioner of Streets Hugo G. Quackenbush stated, “There’s just no way Rosedale can handle all of the Skinker traffic.
By diverting it (the Skinker traffic) to Rosedale, we figure it’ll be such a mess that people, particularly those who live in the county, will have to find another street.” It was also learned that the Skinker area between Delmar and the Forest Park ‘Expressway will be zoned for single family hous: ing and sold to a local developer.
The developer, who preferred not to be named (but who drives a red and green 1981 Oldsmobile) said that plans call for 68 units of low-rise ranchstyle housing to be built and called “Nina West.” This area will then be annexed to Parkview Estates.
A meeting to protest the closing of Skinker will be held at the corner of Skinker and Westminster in the ice machine at the local service station. Oh yes, before you make plans to come to the meeting, note the date at the top of this article…You guessed it, April Fool!
There really are no plans to close Skinker. (There is, however, a movement afoot to move the Vandeventer Overpass to Delmar and Skinker and point it north to alleviate traffic congestion, but more on that later!)
Original photograph caption
Photograph accompanying the explicitly labeled April Fool story “Skinker Boulevard to Be Closed.” Photo by King Schoenfeld. The Times of Skinker-DeBaliviere, April 1986, page 1.
Originally published in The Times of Skinker-DeBaliviere, April 1986.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Original source: SD_Times1986_04.pdf, printed page(s) 1; PDF page(s) 1.
