Historical February 1999 article. Dates, prices, services and contacts describe the source period; current availability has not been established.
Welcome to Chat Room 532!
Hawkeye: Dear Zeke, are you on-line?
Zeke: Yes, Hawkeye. Thanks to the ACLU we have a computer in the prison library so I can e-mail my friends or be in a chat room.
Hawkeye: I’ve never done a “chat room” before but this way we can IM – that’s “Instant Message” one another. It’s like talking in person but easier because you don’t have to shave. Do many prisoners use e-mail?
Zeke: Not really.
Most of us are worried that big brother will read the messages.
Hawkeye: They’re not worried about that with the regular mail
Zeke: There’s some security in a sticky envelope they think. Or maybe they just like the taste of the paste.
The prizon food is prety bad.
Hawkeye: So Zeke, when are you due for parole?
Kathryn: Hi guys, I’m Kathryn!
Kathryn: Hello?
Hawkeye: Zeke, do you know a Kathryn?
Zeke: No, and there’s only one computer here so it ain’t me!
I don’t wear no dressess!
Kathryn: I’m Kathryn and I surf chat rooms.
I saw you two gentlemen here and thought I’d join you.
My husanband is at work and l’rn a bit lonley :)!
Zeke: Are you a screw?
Hawkeye: Zeke, you’re dating yourself! What he means, Kathryn, is are you an officer of the law?
Kathryn: Hardly. I’m art artest.
Zeke: You mean artist! Even if prison spelling is important.
Kathryn: No. artest, as in one who is an artist but is more concerned with being perceived as an artist.
I have artest jewiry that I wear.
Zeke: Oh.
Henry: Hello. anyone there? I’m Henry.
Hawkeye: What are you doing here?
Henry: Well, excuuuuuuse me.
This ic a chat room, after all!
Kathryn: Hi Henry.
These guys are sort of funny.
Zeke: who the hell is Henry?
Henry: I’m a photojournalist and I see that this chat room is fairly free.
I tried to get in :1232 but it was filled. Too bad, they were discussing the difference between legal, moral, and impeachable.
Zeke: That sounds like something I should be interested in!
Hawkeye: Henry, what do you take pictures of?
Rover33: Hello!
Syklops: Yo, man!
Mimi5751: Hi there everyone!
Hawkeye: Henry?
Henry: I shoot Henry: photos around the world and am working on
Luvtorun: Is anyone home? Henry: wildlife and nature photos
Kathryn: Hello, Luvtorun
Syklops: What about me?
Zeke: Do you people do this often?
Rover33: Is there a focus for this chat room?
I looking for Men’s Issues.
Kathryn: Men’s issues? Other than football and cars, what might those be?
Henry: Low blow, lady!
Zeke: How’s your Aunt Annie?
Skylops: But what do you think of them Rams?
Buzzie: Say, anyone else here a college student?
Skylops: Anybody know where I can get a hold of a Pontiac Gran Prix side mirror?
Hawkeye: She’s fine but Uncle Fred isn’t doing well,
Luvtorun: Men’s Issues is 332
Mimi5751: Anyone think Seinfeld is the greatest shwo, I mean show, of all time?
Trixie: Hello!
Henry: Why a mirror?
Rover33: By!
K137 3 1 2: This is a dull chat room! 🙁
Rover33: I like Wheel of Forutne. That Vana is OK!!!
Buzzie: He means bye
Laylo: Why a mirror?
Zeke: I used to like Cheers when I had access to a tv 🙂
Trixie: Hellow Laylo. Tell me about yrsfelf.
Buzzie: Boy Trixie your a terrible speller!
Trixie: Well your gramar ain’t so hot ether!
Mimi5751: Calm down folks. What are
Kathryn: Zeke, where are you a nyways?
Zeke: It’s a long story but let me start with I’m inocent.
Buzzie: He means innocent. Zeke: You know what I mean. Howd I know he was a coopper? Kathryn?
A cooper? Buzzie: He means a copper. Luvtorun: I dated a cop once. Skylops: Was it in a Gsrand Prix? Zeke: Hawekeye, are you still here? Laylo: I’m hear! Buzzie: you mean here. KB7312: How was his gun??? 🙂
Laylo: Get off it.
I know what I mean.
Mimi5751: Zeke, I’m listening to you.
Zeke: Times up. 1 gots to go.
Hawkeye: Zeke, when can we do this again?
Zeke: Why would we want to?
Originally published in The Times of Skinker-DeBaliviere, February 1999.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Original source: SD_Times1999_02.pdf, printed page(s) 8; PDF page(s) 8.
