Historical October 1992 article. Dates, prices, services and contacts describe the source period; current availability has not been established.
A true story: This past summer, the first wife and I went on vacation to Paris.
We stayed at a small quaint hotel on the Left Bank. “Small and quaint” means that there wasn’t enough space to turn around in the room, but that it was expensive. Anyway, there I was one morning, standing in the lobby in my shorts and red Cardinals baseball cap, always the stylish dresser.
Another guest spied me and said in perfect English, “Ah, an American. And are you from St. Louis?” I replied yes, that I was.
He said that he had grown up in St. Louis and now lived in Toronto. “Did you grow up in St. Louis?” he asked me.
I nodded affirmatively, and then it happened.
The ultimate St. Louis question on Paris’ Left Bank: “And where did you go to high school?” he asked!
After I rolled my eyes for several moments I replied, “Roosevelt, I was a Rough Rider.” Is there no escape from this St. Louis phenomenon? Our fine City is the only place in the world where when people ask, “Where did you go to school?” they mean your high school, not your college. Why is that, you wonder? Simple, in St. Louis if you know where someone went to high school, you know a lot about their social class and their culture. That’s because St. Louis is so balkanized; the differences between University City and Affton, although less than ten miles apart, are enormous. So knowing whether you were a U. City Indian (now a U. City Lion, so as to be less offensive) or an Affton Cougar tells us a good deal about how you grew up. Where you went to high school is a shorthand for the two B’s: background and breeding!
But doesn’t asking and hearing “Where did you go to high school?” (WDYGTHS?) get a bit tiresome? And yet in defense of the interrogators, how else can they find out what they need to understand about you so that they can pass judgment before they get to know you and not have to waste time? Simple, in the interest of putting this age-old River City Question, WDYGTHS, to rest, In Your Ear has come up with seven questions which can be used instead of WDYGTHS. By asking one or more of these questions to any who graduated from a local high school in the 50’s or 60’s, we guarantee you’ll know all that you need to know about that person before you actually get to know them. Such a deal!
After all, why waste time on someone who’s not worth getting to know?
#1. Did you travel to Europe before you were out of high school: This question correlates .96 with the data available from the WDYGTHS question.
After all, anyone who made it to Europe before getting out of high school went there at the largess of his/her parents.
This means, of course, that the parents had big bucks. Big enough to take some acne-faced kid who didn’t know better to see the Tower of Pizza.
#2. At what age did you learn to play tennis?
This is a question that won’t be effective in ten years, because today all kinds of kids play tennis. Back in the 60’s, though, you had to be Protestant and wealthy to play tennis before age 16.
If you were born before 1950, the question correlates .71 with WDYGTHS.
#3. Where was your senior prom?
This is a .99 correlation with whether you grew up in the City or county.
All City kids had their proms in the gyms, complete with balloons in the basketball hoops and crepe paper all over the doors. County kids had their proms in hotels, sometimes even coming into the deep and dark and scary City! County kids wanted armed escorts to come to the City unless it was to cruise Gaslight Square; City kids thought the only thing worthy in the county was drive-in theaters. (Actually, the City kids may have had a point!)
#4. Who was your orthodontist? Surprisingly, this correlates only .61 with social class because some middle-income and even slightly poor kids got braces. Still, there are always more braces in LaDue than on Grand and Chippewa, so it tells you something.
If the orthodontist had a zip code of 63105, 63124, or 63141, it correlates .88 with upper-class status.
#5. What’s your favorite color of polyester?
If the answer is pink or green, it correlates .97 with being raised in LaDue.
An answer of yellow or green correlates .86 with south county, an answer of red, blue, or purple correlates .87 with north county.
If the answer is “What’s polyester?” that correlates .81 with growing up in the City or Fargo, North Dakota.
#6. Remember Texas Bruce? Remember Corky the Clown? Remember when Jim Bolen wasn’t just a clown, but dressed as Cooky the Sailor?
These questions correlate .90 with someone who grew up east of Lindbergh and west of Peoria. Texas Bruce and Corky were local tube personalities, known and loved by all of us. Back then, though, in the ’60’s they didn’t have electrification beyond the big highway.
#7. Where did you buzz on weekends? South City kids had their “own” Steak & Shake that they buzzed. Cleveland High’s was at Gravois and River Des Peres; Roosevelt’s was at Chippewa and Morganford, and Southwest’s was on Hampton.
Each Friday and Saturday night these Steak & Shakes were filled with kids in their parents’ cars, buzzing and hustling and buzzing. Driving through and driving around and driving through.
This was before the day of even semirealistic gasoline prices, back when gas cost but 18 or 20 cents a gallon. You could drive round and round and round for a buck or two. North City and County kids had a CHUCK-A-BURGER that they buzzed. And south and west county kids?
They buzzed barns and truck farms. So there you are!
When you go to your next party and meet someone new, instead of WDYGTHS, try “Where did you buzz on weekends? or “Where was your senior prom?” or “At what age did you learn to play tennis?” You’ll be surprised with how much the answer tells you, and you won’t be considered a bore by asking WDYGTHS. And if the conversation progresses nicely and you’ve established rapport, then you can ask the question that REALLY lets you know what the person is like: “How many times have you had your face lifted?”
Originally published in The Times of Skinker-DeBaliviere, October 1992.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Original source: SD_Times1992_10.pdf, printed page(s) 8; PDF page(s) 8.
