Historical April 1991 article. Dates, prices, services and contacts describe the source period; current availability has not been established.
Welcome to my advice column. I’m not a doctor, I’m not a psychologist, I don’t give helpful hints, I don’t have any experience giving advice, in fact, I’m not even very nice. But, I’m all you’ve got.
If you have a problem and you need some advice, send me a letter, and I’ll try to answer it.
If you have a cute, heartwarming story that you’d like to pass on to our readers, save it.
Dear Ms. Know It All, I’m 18 years old and I work with this guy who is in his early 20’s.
I like him a lot, but he treats me like I’m his little sister. Every time I try to say something to him he calls me “kid” or something like that. How do I let him know I’m a woman—not a girl, and that he’s the man for Me? Desperate in the Loop
Dear Heather, I mean Desperate, What do you think this is, Peer Panel? Let’s get a few things straight. First of all, you’re not 18 you’re 17. Second, the guy you’re talking about is not in his early 20’s he’s almost 26. And, you are a kid.
Dear Ms. Know It All, People write to Ann Landers all the time and ask her which is the correct way to put toilet paper on a roll, should paper feed under the roll or over.
My question is, don’t these people have anything better to do? Ann’s Readers Frighten Me
Dear Frightened, Apparently not.
Dear Ms. Know It All, What do I do to help an otherwise wonderful friend whose favorite TV program is “The Love Connection?” Friend in Need
Dear Friend in Need, Is this the same “Love Connection” with Chuck-ex-Wheel of Fortune hostWillory?
The same “Love Connection” where people discuss their sexual escapades on first dates?
The same “Love Connection” where people go on dates with others they don’t like simply because the audience, a bunch of rowdies, voted on it? Are we talking about the same “Love Connection?” Your friend is beyond help.
Dear Ms. Know It All, Is the moon really made of cheese?
If so, what kind?
I just can’t believe it’s made of blue cheese. Many a night I’ve looked out my window and that moon is rarely blue. Can you help me in my dilemma? Moonstruck
Dear Moonstruck, Get a life, buddy.
Dear Ms. Know It All, I live with three other women in an apartment and we all go to college. Two I get along with fairly well, but one I cannot stand.
On the surface we get along but I hate her and am afraid I may explode one day and cause problems in my otherwise happy household. How can I deal with this?
Please help me? Angry Sophomore
Dear Angry, Take a chill pill honey.
The semester is almost over and you’ll be a free agent— move.
Dear Ms. Know It All, My name begins with an “M,” but no one seems to get it right.
They call me by other names beginning with “M!” Do I need to work on my public image?
My name is Margaret
Dear Moron, I mean Margaret, Wear a name tag if you’re so worried about it.
Dear Ms. Know It All, As a long time resident of Skinker DeBaliviere.
I was shocked to see that so called art work erected at the intersection of Forest Park Parkway and DeBaliviere. Whose is this, and why don’t they take it home? Not an Art Lover
Dear Not an Art Lover, I’m sorry you were confused. That stuff that rests at the intersection of Forest Park Parkway and DeBaliviere is not art—that’s the Skinker DeBaliviere Mini Metal Graveyard. I’m sure you can recognize the remains of the Robot from “Lost In Space,” and the bicycle wheels— those belong to everyone who has ever had a bicycle stolen in the Skinker DeBaliviere neighborhood.
My bike and I parted company in 1971 in front of Barry Drugs. It’s a pity there’s not an epitaph.
Originally published in The Times of Skinker-DeBaliviere, April 1991.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Original source: SD_Times1991_04.pdf, printed page(s) 4; PDF page(s) 4.
