Historical February 1989 report or notice. Original dates, prices and contacts describe the source period; current availability has not been established.
One of the nice things about the holiday season is the opportunity it presents to see new friends; renew casual acquaintances, avoid old enemies, and exchange gifts (exchange them back to the store, that is).
This year was a particularly busy time for me, and I caught up with a number of friends, semi-friends, relatives, semirelatives, and debtors.
As you might imagine, the lofty content of In Your Ear is on everyone’s lips when I see them. No, that’s not a new punk salve that prevents frostbitten ears, that’s the title of this semi-regular feature in this semi-regular newspaper. Believe it or not, this column is actually read by almost as many folks as the number of people who keep their New Year’s resolutions.
In our many reader poll surveys, the popularity of this column ranks slightly behind the calendar and free want ads, and ahead of the Bi-State Bus Routes. Apparently, a number of items that I addressed (8913, 3833a, 5209) in this column during the past year have caused a good deal of discussion in the community.
My incisive, insightful, and inarticulate writing has raised questions, buried answers, and caused marital disputes.
In the spirit then, of “Semi-inquiring minds want to know!” here’s a follow-up on several of my 1988 gems: ***** The number one question I’ve been asked is, “Are you really, really going to take out your stove?” The answer to this, in a word, is “YES.” Many folks have shuddered at the thought of what this will do to our property value—they would have really shuddered if they’d seen what my current wife’s cooking did to our house!
This present wife, Karleen, dabbles in real estate, and she maintains that everyone who buys a home in our neighborhood re-does the kitchen anyway, so it really doesn’t make any difference what we do to it. We’re thinking of either donating the stove to the Missouri Historical Society or taking it to Selkirk’s to be sold: Since it’s quite old and is in perfect, pristine condition, it should fetch a handsome price. ***** Indeed, now that they’re gone, I am sorry for all of the nasty comments that I made about the Football Cardinals.
As they are fading from memory (although their remarkable “fading from the playoffs” tradition continues), I feel like I don’t have any easy and convenient targets to pick on. Oh well, hope springs eternal: there’s always Danny F. Quayle, the Board of Aldermen, and the Dog Museum, woofers all! **** Speaking of Danny F. Quayle, quite a few people commented that they felt my recent article about the presidential election was suggesting that we shouldn’t exercise our right to vote. “Not so,” I implore! Exercise, itself, is the only thing that shouldn’t be exercised. I think we all have a patriotic duty to get out and vote even if, as I did, we leave a number of the punchholes untouched once we’re in the little booth. Come to think of it, maybe George Boone is responsible for both the Football Cardinal draft picks and the presidential nominees! There’s actually quite a bit that the two groups have in common: No one is ever happy with the personnel choices that have been made, neither group lives up to expectations, and the caliber of choices seems to get worse over time. Could Bill Bidwell be behind who’s running for president? Worse, could the Democratic National Party be selecting the Football Cardinal draft choices? **** Truly, my wife does name her shoes. I, personally, see nothing terribly unusual about this.
After all, people give names to living things, like their children and pets; heck, people even give names to inanimate objects like cars, baseball gloves, and condominium resort areas. Granted, no one I know has over 400 children, pets, cars, baseball gloves, or condominium resort areas.
The difficulty here is that with so many pairs of shoes, she’s now naming sandals and suede pumps things like, “Fred Jr.,” “Son of Jose,” and “Sugarplum III.” There are only so many names that are appropriate for shoes.
Finally, from my favorite set of columns, those that dealt with “Who REALLY has the easiest job?” I still get feedback.
As “Wheel of Fortune” continues to be shown, several people have come to me to note that Vanna White’s job isn’t as easy as it might appear.
The word puzzles are getting a bit more difficult, and as we’ve watched Vanna over time we’ve come to expect a bit more from her.
The pressure is really on her to produce!
There does seem to still be very strong sentiment that the easiest job belongs to either a St. Louis Alderman, a Channel 2 newscaster, George Boone, or a St. Louis Alderman.
The Channel 2 newscaster’s job would be very easy, so the reasoning goes, because nobody watches Channel 2 anyway so who knows or cares what the newscaster does, if anything? George Boone’s job is terribly easy because, whether he is selecting Football Cardinal draft picks or presidential candidates, he obviously isn’t concerned with quality or accountability.
The St. Louis Alderman’s position is so easy that it’s listed twice. Elvis works harder, even today in 1989, than most of these critters. He’s also a much better singer.
Originally published in The Times of Skinker-DeBaliviere, February 1989.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Original source: SD_Times1989_02.pdf, printed page(s) 8; PDF page(s) 8.
