Historical December 1983 report or notice. Original dates, prices and contacts describe the source period; current availability has not been established.
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
A creature was stirring, could it be a mouse?
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care.
Next year those stockings will be covered with hair.
Mama in her flannel and I in my sweats,
had turned up the blanket to the highest setting yet.
When down in the basement arose such a racket,
I tried to sleep, but just couldn’t hack it.
I knew this was a mistake, when we first decided
To give the children a puppy, to get them excited.
But now, at two A.M. on cold Christmas Eve,
This pup’s noisy crying has got me peeved.
I will admit, she no doubt will look cute,
red ribbon round neck and brown eyes to boot.
But what will we do tomorrow, I fear,
when seemingly thousands of relatives are here.
Who will make sure this pup isn’t trounced,
who will take her outside, when it really counts?
When it’s eight A.M. on New Year’s Day,
Who will get up, when she wants to play?
And will she be cute and win a show prize,
or will she grow to Gargantuan size.
Will she bring me my slippers and sit by my side,
or will she chew the furniture, my good Naugahide.
There you are, you little creep,
It’s two A.M., please go to sleep.
I put this box by the furnace, it’s warm.
The junk in the basement won’t do you harm.
There now lay down, cuddle up to this clock,
The book said you’d like its rhythmic tick-cock.
Go to sleep now and don’t make such noise,
I’m afraid you’re going to wake the boys.
Giving this pup to the kids will be nice,
But I should have taken my vet’s advice.
Don’t give a live pet for Christmas, he said.
Give the promise of a new pet later, instead.
Puppies, kittens and other pets, too,
Demand time and attention, when they are new.
Holiday bustling is not too conducive
to having a new critter come home to live.
Wait until later, so you can decide
What kind of pet is best for your tribe.
Read up on breeds and sizes available,
And should you have pups, if they’re saleable.
Some kennels have classes to help you choose,
what kind of dog is the right one for youse.
Then when the holidays are finally over,
Your family can begin its life with Rover.
So when your writing your letter to Santa Claus,
tell him to hold off bringing the critter with paws.
A pet can be a loving companion and friend,
but coming at Christmas is simply, the end.
Originally published in The Paper, December 1983.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Original source: SD_Times1983_12.pdf, printed page(s) 4; PDF page(s) 4.
