Overheard at a neighborhood gathering recently, Wrigley Wrymouth, Executive Director of the Brotherhood of Eirons and Alazons, suggested that our area would be perfect for a midwinter festival. His conception of this celebration would in no way conflict with the Annual Art Fair and House Tour held each Mothers Day. “In fact,” he averred, “it would be quite a contrast to the Mothers Day event.”
Wrymouth proposes a Skinker-DeBaliviere Dog Show and Alley Tour to be held every January, perhaps during the “thaw” that sometimes occurs in that month. He claims rarely to have seen an area with so much raw material for such a spectacle. He declared, “You have really made a spectacle of yourselves in these alleys and you deserve the credit for it.” Wrymouth envisions a motorized, combination dog show-alley tour. All ticket holders would board a bus and ride through our alleys where the canine entires can always be found. There was talk that rodents might also appear in the show, but this was only speculation.
When challenged by a bystander who asked, “What’s so special about our alleys?” Wrymouth snorted and said, “I have seen things here that just astound me!” He went on to regale a growing, but skeptical clutch of listeners with a description of the sights of the proposed alley tour as he envisioned them:
(1) an array of imaginative ground sculpture (which he calls “decompositions) structured of everyday objects, such as chicken bones, milk cartons, paper towels, and tin cans, enhanced by artistic placement of overturned garbage cans and desiccated Christmas trees;
(2) larger backyard compositions of defunct appliances, furniture, and automobiles placed in juxtaposition for effect.
“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” Wrymouth concluded, “and you folks certainly do have a trashy bunch of alleys for that man to treasure.”
Mr. Wrymouth had to leave at this point to fulfill a speaking commitment at the Nixon Democrats Club, where his topic was “Ronald Reagan: Reformed Democrat,” and was therefore unavailable for further comment. Among those who had heard his idea some comments were: “Kook,” “Did he mean something by that, do you think?” and “Nobody likes a smart aleck.”
Originally published in The Paper, March 1973.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Original source: SD_Times1973_03.pdf, printed page(s) 2.
