Original printed byline: Donnie Lottes
As I was preparing dinner the other evening it occurred to me that the time is now ripe (maybe overripe) for the advent of the science fiction version of a meal – a red capsule for meat, a blue one for potatoes, a green one for vegetables and perhaps a multi-colored one for dessert, or as a vitamin supplement.
This would not only be a boon for busy mothers, it might save us all from the ever increasing chance of being poisoned by the delicious meals we fix our families.
Every day the news grows bleaker. There is mercury in your fish, pesticides on your produce and botulism in your cans (not to mention the PCB in your eggs, chicken, noodles, cereal and frozen fruit juice).
Every time I look at a raw carrot I say, “Now, I’ve scrubbed you, you little devil, but did I really get all the DDT off your hide?” As I put the cereal boxes out for breakfast I think “Pick your own poison, darlings. I’m not sure which cardboard box has been recycled and which has not, but really, dears, it’s kind of a new-fangled game of Russian Roulette.” As I serve the tuna salad sandwiches I only wish they would print the mercury content on the can. That way, if we all rushed to the Emergency Room, I might be able to gasp a clue to the nurse who receives us.
It’s really UNREAL!
I have considered this problem at length, tho, and find we have three alternatives. One — we can all die. Two — we can quit eating. Three — our bodies will build a tolerance to all the pesticides, additives and preservatives we’re becoming accustomed to.
(The other solution would be for scientists to slow down in their use of unknown agents and provide a more lengthy study of their merits and demerits. Industrial companies could be a smidge more careful about where they dump their waste materials. Farmers could knock off the spraying operations and let Mother Nature get herself back in balance. Canning companies could be even more scrupulous and diligent in the preparation of their products. The average citizen could raise hell about the QUALITY of food he is getting. Surely there must be some agency in Washington to complain to, there are so many agencies in Washington. Why don’t we start with the Food and Drug Administration. Let’s ALL write a letter!)
In the meantime, it doesn’t hurt to say a little prayer before meals.
Originally published in The Paper, November 1971.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Original source: SD_Times1971_11.pdf, printed page 3.
