Historical October 1980 report or notice. Original dates, prices and contacts describe the source period; current availability has not been established.
Yesterday was not a good day.
It wasn’t a bad day, just not a good day.
The crowning blow came when I opened the mail.
To digress a bit, I guess that the mail has always been important to me.
In a way, my attitude toward the mail has been a function of my station in life (how’s that for a heavy-handed term?). I loved to receive mail as a youngster. Part of the joy in sending in comic book coupons (“You too can whistle while drinking water!”) was getting something back in the mail.
As a child. I even read the verses in greeting cards sent to me by relatives (“… and nothing could be better than a nephew like you!”).
My early adult years saw me continuing to covet the mail.
A full-time job allowed me to subscribe to a myriad of magazines; my glee at the unloading of the mail was matched only by the mailman’s fatigue and resentful glances.
A college romance with a Tri-Delta was probably heightened by the frequent letters soaring between St Louis and Cape Girardeau. (I once sent her a small plastic ape with a note saying that she was “the gorilla my dreams.”) My feelings about the mail have changed a bit during my middle adult years, however. (Middle adult is a nice euphemism; it means you’re too old to be drafted, but too young to have to cut the grass.) While I still look forward to the mail, my attitude has clearly gotten a bit more jaundiced. I seem to be on everyone’s junk mail list. I get mail from book clubs, professional organizations. civic groups, political candidates and non-candidates (the non-candidates usually have smaller pictures of themselves), mail-order catalogs. publishing houses, magazines. refugee groups, cultural supporters, special interest groups, the Cheese-of-the-Month Club, alumni organizations, and the imnipresent fund-raising groups. Ah, mail solicitations, they deserve an article of their own. Let me save you some reading time by simply noting that if I gave money to even half of these groups. I’d be forced to join the other half asking for funds. Well, back to my original premise about it not being a good day.
You can imagine my chagrin when I opened my mail and found an “important message” from my auto club, the AAA.
It had to be important, not only did they tell me that it was important, it was a MEMBERGRAM and was done on computer printout paper with a pretty pink border. (Can you believe it; a MEMBER:GRAM? No doubt the product of some slick West County advertising executive.) You’re probably thinking that the MEMBERGRAM 11 smile even as I write the word) was commending me on my years of uninterrupted loyalty or offering me a AAA flashlight for conscripting another member. I thought to myself, “Aha!
A congratulatory note for my years of safe driving and nursing the ol’ Pontiac (Bertha) through the rugged winters!” I couldn’t have been more wrong.
It seems that the AAA – – more precisely. Mary Beaty, Service Review – – was chastising me for using my Emergency Road Service.
The letter (that does sound better than MEMBERGRAM, doesn’t it?) ended with the dates and types of service for five calls I made during the summer.
In her letter of commiseration. Ms. Beaty said: We are sorry to bother you, but we are concerned about the expense of providing emergency road service for members. Since expenses are constantly increasing, we are asking members to help us control costs by making sure their cars receive preventive maintenance.
She closed with. “We value your membership and we sympathize with you about your previous car difficulties.” You can imagine my reaction. How foolish of me to use the Emergency Road Service in an emergency. (Did they think I liked eating fried rice with Ken Cohen at Grand & Natural Bridge while waiting for a jump?) Of course, it’s perfectly logical from their perspective: if we didn’t use the service. they’d save money. Think how inexpensive life insurance would be if no one died! Imagine the cheap rate you could get on hospital insurance if you signed a waiver promising never to use it!
You can see why it wasn’t a good day.
When AAA turns on you. what’s left?
The next thing you know. Laclede Gas will want to charge more per unit when I turn down my thermostat because I’ll be using less gas.
Original photograph caption
Original ear illustration accompanying Tom Hoerr’s column. The Paper, October 1980, page 5. Artist not credited.
Originally published in The Paper, October 1980.
Read this article in the original newspaper issue.
Original source: SD_Times1980_10.pdf, printed page(s) 5; PDF page(s) 5.
